Armed with some shaving creme and a dream to create, the Chiefed nation has completed the first in a series of sitcom tributes starting with Tim Allen’s ‘Home Improvement’. Our first tribute pays homage to the flannel crusader sidekick Al Borland who sports one of the thickest beards we’ve seen on television. Simply break out the shaving cream and cover your sleeping victims cheeks heavily to recreate the beard that introduced us to Tool Time and you have yourself a winner.
Sometimes the risk of being the only person caught with a Sharpie in their hand is too much for the Chiefed nation. To distribute the anger when the victim wakes up mid-coloring, the Tag Team Chiefing is the best option to distribute that anger. But let’s be honest, if they understood the term moderation they wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place and at the end of the day it becomes a lesson in knowing when enough is enough. It could even be argued that we are doing a public service with our vigilante ways of weeding out the drunks and teaching them a lesson in humility before they cause harm to themselves or those around them.
So what’s on the drawing board for Chiefed in 2009? Well to kick things off we really want to pursue this Marvel vs DC Comics concept a bit further and see how many characters we can complete. On a weekly basis we’d like to have user voting choose the Chief of the week so that we can give the nation ideas and at the same time showcase the best works. Other possibilities include producing Chiefed T-shirts and Chiefed Makers fit with website logo which would could be distributed outside of bars (for free of course). Customized T-shirts would also be available for a nominal fee which would have specific line art of Chiefed 101 terms such as Scarecrow, Venom or Captain America. In any event we have our work cut out for us, so thanks for the support and we will continue to do our best. Keep up the submissions Chiefed nation, your content makes the site what it is and what it will become, thank you.
A good rule of thumb for hitting the mountains with a few friends and way too much booze is to practice moderation. The combination of that cold climate and the need to consume alcohol to warm you up can often be a destructive combination as you can see from the latest Chiefed victim. Next time Smokey the Bear might not be so kind, we’ve heard he has a thing for cargo shorts so consider this a warning for those of you camping with the Chiefed nation.
If you were hoping for Hollywood tricks to get you cast in the next Star Wars movie as Darth Maul you are reading the wrong post. Instead we have a new video showing exactly how bad it can be to wake up with your shoes still on when you friends have been pulling an all nighter with Star Wars movies. Introducing the Chiefed 101: Darth Maul, and now without any further adieu the video trailer. [Click to continue]
Dubbed the “George Burns”, the latest Chiefed victim has captured the legend with a cigar in the nostril and a pair of black rimmed eye glasses. The KY Jelly and condom to the face are a bit much for us, but when the shoes stay on after a night of partying you must be prepared to suffer the consequences. We were beginning to feel bad for the guy, but at least the culprits were nice enough to put a pillow behind his neck.
Ever want to earn your Tear Drops without serving hard time in the state pen? Well then this episode of Chiefed should be the ultimate lesson in free tattoos. Armed with two Sharpies and the mission of gaining street cred, the Chiefed nation has once again impressed us, excellent work ladies and gentlemen.
Now that we have the Tear Drops out of the way, I think it’s about time to see the Mike Tyson face tattoo make the front page at Chiefed.
Unlike Yugoslavian native Zebediah Killgrave, this guy did not need canisters of nerve gas to permanently die his skin purple. Introducing the Cheifed “Purple Man”, complete with an American Flag neck tattoo that completely contradicts his Yugoslavian roots. Now that Purple Man has joined the Chiefed Nation we are well on our way to orchestrating the ultimate showdown between Marvel and DC comics so stay tuned readers.
Sharpies are one thing, but when you take it to the extreme by using paint markers You Are Legend. In this short video clip a drunken victim is colored in just about every color we can think of and the final result is something you might see on a psychedelic voyage. Be prepared to be amazed because this Chief makes Clown Shoes look like an amateur gig.
When the shoes aren’t put away, the Chiefed nation comes out to play. We’d like to introduce you to the latest full flavored alcoholic beverage, Butt Light. Clearly inspired by the pose, this Chiefed victim is displaying some excellent balancing skills that remind us of the tower of cups leaning against Iron Man yesterday. The fact that this guy can flex his hamstrings in his sleep really has us questioning whether or not he’s done this before, but we’ll let you be the judge.
There are some things even we couldn’t imagine doing when our friends pass out from partying with their shoes still on and this is one of them. We are calling it the “Butkus”, because it is just bad ass kinda like Dick Butkus, arguably the greatest NFL player of all time. The obvious cigarette butts and Dick’s last name should clear up the rest of the confusion, but something tells me this Chiefed victim wouldn’t stand more than a few seconds on the field with this legend.
Next time remember what it means to drink in moderation friend, the human ashtray look is not doing it for ya.
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